There are people in your life who aren’t meant to be there. They hurt you and don’t show the care that you deserve. But you care enough for them to see it through, to spend your day thinkin of them and trying to care about them. Which is crap because that’s the kind of person who Is great. But you need to stop being the one who cares more. Yes, you can care. But maybe we should just care equally as them.
He’s moved on.
The love game has faded.
You’re just his friend.
Don’t make the effort.
You can do this.
You have love in your heart, so love yourself.
I wanna talk to you, but what would I even say? I know it would all be bullshit. I just want to feel you again. I met someone great who makes me feel great. It’s so normal and what I need. But he doesn’t make my heart stop and hurt. I know I shouldn’t want that. But God, I love that roller coaster love.
I miss you right now. Maybe because I feel alone and sad. I don’t want to fight or even talk about love. I just want to feel your presence. I just want to know that you’re there and we’re okay…maybe I’ll wait till your birthday to talk to you. But then again, you always forgot mine.
I’ve wasted you entirely. I’ve called you when I’m sad and need you there. I’ve called you when I was happy and wanted a friend. I called you when I was insecure and needed love. But every time you let me down. I have no use for calling anymore. No fucking use. I’ve actually hit my point. I begged you to stay and keep me. But you chose her. You coulda been a friend, anything but stranger silence. But you didn’t. You got annoyed and stopped. You let me go and you don’t even know it. And I hate you for that. I really fucking hate you. I can’t even cry about it anymore. I’ve wasted all my feelings. I don’t want you back. I don’t want you to ruin my future. Though part of me does want that rush, it’s the rush I want. Not you.
I let you go again. I’m sorry I do this so many times. I don’t know if this will be the last time or another for the books. I kinda miss you. Or I’m just hurt about the idea of you not there, going so long without talking. But I’ve actually been pretty good. Maybe it’s because I’m distracted, but I think I’ll be okay.
I don’t know what love is.